Yet another longer Wanna week

Friday
I went outside, seen it’s raining and totally ignored it.. they say “I’m not made of sugar”. I guess it goes only for Dutch guys. Not so bad to be soaking wet, I keep on saying to myself. But wha? Is is ok? Oh well, I’ll get dry later on. My outfit was too sexy and I was wet, what can you expect better from a woman on a Friday afternoon. Got to my flat in the evening. Had tea then pills. The Romanian ones. Should get to bed. Which I did. Way to spend the fri night. Oh yey!

Saturday
Wake up with a serious cold, no mood and a nose full of shit. Got myself the soap opera traditional no-tear tissues. Should stick one or two up my running nose.

I have a look on the pill box. Says I’m supposed to take 2 pills in 12 hours and so on. On doctor recommendation only, can take 6 pills in 24 hours. I prescribe myself 2 extra pills – I need it for tonight’s party.
Managed to get myself out of bed within 3 hours or so, should be listed as personal record in times of cold. I hit the AH for supplies. Take it to The Hague. How come I always miss all means of transportation by just those 2 fucking minutes?! And then I end up so surprised and disappointed waiting for the next one…

Got to my uncle’s venue, ate a bit of whatever pasta, drank white wine. Chilled with my uncle and talked about all less important stuff in whatever context, just catching up. Needed to move.Got to Anna’s place. On my way I noticed no Dutch people. Suppose that’s strange, living in Holland. But, oh, well, one welcomed me at Anna’s. He spoke Russian. I understood his friendly mine and gestures. I laughed and got in the little wood house Anna and her husband designed in their backyard. Looks like you’re in the mountains at asome winter sport resort.
Every one was somehow continuously having dinner. I felt like back in Romania, when my mother keeps on bringing food.. Only the thought of it gives me tummy pain. So bizarre to feel home with Russians, Lithuanians, Dutch, Latvian and Finnish.. We watched the video of Anna’s wedding.

Almost no one in that room remembers details of her wedding. I do remember the fire spiters and how Anna was walking on one of them while he was floored-back to glass, broken small little pieces of glass. And then some childhood games and some attempts of coordination in couple. And a bit of fat-ass bogging to get a potato moving on the floor.. oh, just use your imagination!

Lithuanian vodka is so strong. I had absolutely no feel for taste or smell, everything was neutral to me. A flower, cow poop, Dolce&Gabbana perfume and sewage.. all the same to me, baby. Apparently it was supposed to stink, so that’s why not many would give it a go. Considering the circumstances, I did. Did I mention I took some pills?

We had such a good time! They’re all so funny. We girls needed to go. The Hague expat party was on. At Scheveningen. What kind of combination is that? Do they do Amsterdam expat parties in Haarlem? No further remarks… it took us girls (4 of us) most likely about 3 minutes to be ready. Then Laurie said he’s coming. This after slaying big portions of vodka, girl wine, so male beer and who knows what else. Where to? Asked the guys. To the party, of course.
We’re 4 girls all over each other on the back seat of a taxi and Laurie is talking on and on about all sort of taxi events and street names with the driver. We’re constantly wondering on how he keeps up with all the sober-talking. Suppose he has an extra body to retain alcohol.

Got there, got some Hawaiian plastic flowers on our necks. It was some beach party – the theme. We did a three hour dancing and partying when Laurie started falling on people. He lost his glasses few times and probably his entire memories of the night. But his rudely apparition rocked! Though Anna and Alla needed to take him home, too bad for our laughs, was a good shotgun for it.Rodney was pimping around, as usually. Lydie and Jasper were all over each other and looking good. The drag queens still in male clothes were dulling on other women’s men. And Sam was there. Coincidently enough we danced a bit..

I also previously tried more vodka and rum mixes. No worries, the pills just keep me fit, as well as the thing against a running nose. But the music was great party-like. Everything was spinning right. Natasha and I hooked up with some Spanish male-non-male unisex stuff around. The party went on like that. Truly amazing. Somehow I ended up dancing with Sam again and then somehow we retired for some time on the beach.. Made everything peachy. No idea what time, how long.. it was clear that the party had been a blast for some people, when we got back, every one was leaving. We did too, when I discovered I lost my phone. We got back on the beach to rescue my phone swamped in the sand..

Then Natasha recovered us as well and we hit the road to the Central Station The Hague. Sam and I were supposed to end up in my large bed in Amsterdam, but strangely enough just missed the train. I started running around asking men in blue when the next train for Amsterdam is leaving.. in one hour.. fuck!! What are we going to do for one hour.. you just cannot stay in the station for that long. We rushed to Stefan’s still wondering – what the fuck were we doing in the Central Station?! It seemed like a dream..

My sense of reality is deteriorating seriously. The excitement from the party is slowly getting away, it’s just us, lots of sand everywhere, crunchy crunch teeth sounds and slept, slept..

Sunday
Woke up with some sweaty sun in my face and decided to get back to A’dam. Romantically said goodbye to Sam in the Station. Suppose they look more fresh in a film, but then again, they don’t share what we do. Til we meet again you mancman, you rock!Why’s every one staring at me?! What’s wrong with night clothes on a Sunday afternoon? What’s wrong with very wrong strong make-up fading away from sheets and sand, nasty smells and sluty lipstick? You fools, you don’t know what love is! Now who’s the bad guy?!

Crawled up the narrow stairs, found the apartment empty. The other Wanna must have gone blow her mind in some other place. I’m all alone, lonely and by myself. I’m cursed with anxiety and need to get away. I’m scared to go out, to stay with my shaman thoughts or have a delirium beside myself. I’m irecognizable in my darkest world. The knives in the kitchen shine appetizing. I daydream of terrible accidents and decide to hit the sack.

Lydie calls and order is restored. Earth to Wanna is reaching out. The other Wanna is coming in and I play sociable. [Fucking pills! Don’t you mix them with alcohol! You should know better].
The rest is history, I’m alive!

Monday
Pass by work in my way to the exam at the uni. Looks decent, should be doable. I then engage in long conversations at my uncle’s place. He prepares tea for me, I’m so lucky! And sleepy, damn late hours in The Hague.

Tuesday
It’s always even more difficult to wake up in the morning. Paradox is that it’s even harder to go to sleep in the night, dilemma of my life. Oh well, the entire dilemma thread dies when needed to study, then it’s easiest that can be to fall asleep on a nice-smelling book. At least I try to finish my project.. I have a feeling it’s gonna take much longer..

Wednesday
I need to finish my project. Somehow this thought stays on my mind. I ignore it later, in my pursuit of being the perfect housewife. Lekker Piu shall be coming soon. Need to have a decent house prepared. I lose my interest and my day.

Thursday
We have a new IT class with and old IT guy. He’s German and boring. He likes to think we’re retarded so he explains the same things 5 times and one additional time (always), if you’re stupid enough to ask a question. Any question. Bill calls him Tolkien. I guess now you know better than to start up an mba.. Sometimes I’m still wondering what his wife has to do with it. Most probably she’s annoying and he needs to get away. Most likely to deserve a better life than having me commenting on his work and most of the people not paying attention. I end up at my uncle’s wasted.

Friday
How come I cannot focus on my work? Well, I just heard a Dutch colleague of mine saying on the phone: “are you really working? Or is it Friday for you too?!” Friday. As opposed to working. As in weekend. Oh, now I get it!! You Dutch don’t work on Fri! And me who was the only one maintaining the Dutch economy at high level! Me and some poor Polish guys who’ll never get this.. anyhow, more important to find out that the Jordaan festival is on.

Lydie is visiting me. I pick her up at the station. Lekker Piu is next. We need to wait for her for an hour. Lydie decides to ignore my food cooking proposals and gets to a patat thing. Then we take a walk in the Red Light district. Do we look better sometimes? More real and touchable? We see some jewels, we stare like monkeys. The artist comes out to explain. She’s a German lady who teaches art in The Hague. We’ll keep in touch. I suspect she’s interested in Lydie.

Lekker Piu is smoking a cigarette in front of the Central Station. I’m excited to see her. I also figured out why it’s a bad spot to ask her to come to the information point. She always has a cigarette after coming from Brussels. That needs to be tasted outside. Next time I’ll be a better considerate friend.We go take dinner at my place, I can really cook, yes. They seem to like it. Except for Jasper, who has allergy to cheese. What kind of kaaskop is that? Your oma is going to feel ashamed!

Conversation’s taking us to unseen places. We agree if you only have sex 3 times per year with your bf and then he asks you to wear a moustache and a hat, your bf must be gay. Lydie and Jasper need to split early at 2 in the night, they need to have friends over and clean up. We suggest let the kids play the cleaning company.

We decide to carry on our green way and talk about all persons we ever knew @ hp and what happened to them. Try to understand why people behave this way. We find no solution, but reasoning takes us to sleep. SaturdayWe wake up late in a party mood and try to figure out where Anna is. She has by this time tried to come about 5 times to Amsterdam. All initiatives failed for some reason or the other. We get back to sleep.

Saturday

We take a longer walk to the city. We’re ignoring the Bulldog and go to a forgotten place with weird paintings and weirder decorations. We take a white widow and think it’s slow. But you never know. The tram takes us to the Jordaan festival. Johnie’s and Anita’s are there. So are old and young, intellectuals and dumb. All are listening to same Dutch old music. Sounds fun. “Ti amo” in the Dutch version and Andre Hazes memorial. I know where I am. Thousands of Dutch-only are there. Amsterdam has never been Dutcher to me. We have a lot of fun looking at the people and listening or not to the music. We have gauffre’s and we feel good. Perfect night.

Sunday
Morning’s there, we’re not. The afternoon surprises us in bed. Nothing special, just us girls and a lot of talking done. Feels like home, sisterhood and cosy. We shall soon meet again, we say. And the train to Brussels is rolling. Aside Lekker Piu, loads of dubiosi – it’s the Belgium way..

Despre prieteni si alte cele..

Bai cat de tare e s-o lekkeresti cu prietenii de ani de zile.. Cat de tare e sa vii acasa, sa-ti arunci geanta intr-un colt si sa o intrebi pe mami ce-i de mancare, sa-i povestesti de ce-ti mai fac prietenele si pe urma sa o suni pe una dintre ele sa-i zici – hai sa ne vedem pe motoare la o cafea.. da asta apreciezi mai tarziu, cand le duci dorul, un pic..

Si totusi, da nu ne melancolizam – ideea e ca tot e bine sa te vezi si cu prietenii nu de asa mult timp, in Amsterdam la o cina in micutul restaurant olandez in care mergem tot timpul, sa palavragim de toata lumea din hash pe si de vietile noastre. Da, bineinteles, este vorba de Franc. Ce-am mai facut si ce o sa mai facem si cum o sa ma ajute in continuare – nu este prea tare ? Si radem de tot ce se intmapla in jur, de postere si de colega lu fi-sa de 12 ani care a ramas insarcinata, de toti handicapatii care urla dupa ceva si olandezii calmi care mai degraba te lasa sa treci in fata lor, decat sa se enerveze. Dar doua colege de-ale mele vorbeau si am inteles chintesenta din filozofia lor – ok, eu te las in fata mea, nu-i problema. Da daca te bagi si te faci ca nu ti-ai dat seama, e ca si cum le-ai zice in fata ca e prost, asta nu vor suporta niciodata.

Si cateodata mai dai de ceva tipic olandez, ceva ce nu ti se pare neaparat ca ai putea sa vezi in alta parte.. ca sa evite mirosurile si nesimtitii... Iata si mirificul panou – mai precis : nu (va) urinati – toalete in parcare sau la metrou..

Cum iti dai seama ca Olanda e mica?

Cand esti in 4 orashe intr-o singura zi si ai treburi importante in fiecare si chiar petreci timp in fiecare, iar la sfarsitul zilei nu esti obosit..
Sa luam un exemplu:

7.00 a.m. – trezirea in Amsterdam [orash 1], acasa. M-am hotarat sa ma imbrac frumos, sa vad daca face vreo diferenta – la sfarsitul zilei voi fi zis – ei bine, da. Haina face pe om! Eu care ziceam ca astia in Olanda nu-ti deschid ushile si nu se uita la cum sunt imbracati, ca doar de-aia sunt imbracati de la superfirme, da nu se asorteaza si nu-s tot timpu cele mai curate haine.. dar iata ca toata lumea ma saluta, imi canta si-mi deschidea usi, deci se poate. Este ziua mea de raportari la greu, deci ma organizez corespunzator la jobuit in hamsterdam.

6 p.m. – cam plec de la job, iau trenul spre Rotterdam[orash 2]. Aici ma intalnesc cu Janita. Janita este o tipa asiatica arhitect care s-a hotarat sa faca un short movie emotional despre cum o fata face confesiuni calde la un baiat rece despre unu si mai si.. cam ce i se-ntampla unei femei oricand, dar dintr-o perspectiva mult mai coolish muncita psihologic si transpusa filozofic. Si ea a pus un anunt pe facebook, ca are nevoie de colaboratori. Eu, cum imi petrec o gramada de timp pe facebook, m-am entuziasmat instant. La un moment dat imi doresc sa fac si eu un film. Cred. Deci de ce n-as incepe acum sa vad cum se face, sa invat din greselile altora si sa stiu cat de realizabil e un astfel de proiect. Asadar, ajung in Rotterdam, la Centraal Station, unde ne uitam la spatiu, un tunel. Ne gandim cum ar merge filmatul, care sunt nevoile…voi ajunge in curand la concluzia ca tot singur tre sa faci tot, daca vrei sa-ti iasa bine ! Cameramanu si fotografu vad foarte tehnic si cul… ah ! am un mare kef si abia astept sa iasa ceva !!

7.30p.m. – tre sa ajung urgent la facultate, in Haga [orash 3]. Am o alta ora plictisitoare, da cica ajuta sa faci act de prezenta.. implicit ma duc. Bineinteles ca e labareala si idiotu ala citeste slidurile, ca nu e in stare de altceva.. ii voi face o evaluare proasta! Ma enerveaza, da n-am ce face, stau pana la sfarsit..

10.30p.m. – plec inspre Fane, in Rijswijk [orash 4]. Toata lumea e adunata, e ziua lui mami. Mare bucurie, sarbatorim cu o mare masa, ca de obicei si si mai multa bautura pana tarziu in noapte. Ne povestim toate cele, radem si ne distram, ca la zile mari.. ziua se incheie déjà megatarziu. Este bine, maine va fi poate la fel..

Horoscope (week 36)

Aries (my uncle Stefan)
Focusing on self-expression can lead you in a non-healthy direction. A hangover from last week will be cut off by a family visit, possibly very close relatives. They will be staying over, but also will involve travelling throughout the country and even abroad. This will most likely involve a lot of driving, kindly rewarded with traditional food and beverages. You can still share what's most important to you; just remember that it's not about being the center of everyone's attention. You will enjoy and treasure moments of travelling, including a big museum. The entire week means getting away from your job, but also being in the middle of the loved ones and relating your own feelings to those around you.

Taurus (my friend Geamy)
You might be ready to put your own future ahead and for decisions to be made this week. It's perfectly healthy to connect your present feelings with a previous situation, but make sure you are remembering it as it really happened. Your tendency now to embellish the truth could create more problems than you have time to solve. Significant health issues are solved this week.

Gemini (my dad)
You may not be able to get away from the maddening noise this week as the reactive Moon moves through your 3rd House of Immediate Environment. This will have a direct affect on the car navigation system that would drive all your family nuts. But don't turn the normal humdrum of the day into some kind of melodrama just to garner a bit of attention. Instead use your cleverness to involve others. You will be appreciated more for the unique fun and good old stubbornness than for any other initiatives. Your eagerness to travel around and make the most of your vacation may not be shared entirely by your family. You manage to enjoy it afterall, as you usually do.

Cancer (my friend Franc)
There's no need to overstate your position, for saying fewer words now will be more effective than rambling on forever. Keep in mind that your insecurities can actually set up blockages to intimacy by tricking you into acting more confidently than you actually feel. You will be asking yourselves a lot of questions on the others state of mind and actual presence. It will occur that you’ll be surprised friends have suddenly decided to visit some other country or even have different activities every day.

Leo (who is now leo?!)
I just spilled some damn coffee on it, so you cannot read..

Virgo (my friend Sasha)
Delving into your own fantasies might not be as fruitful this week as it can be at other times. In fact, self-analysis can lead to a dead end. Instead of venturing within, now focus your attention on the world around you, specifically to making plans in coming to Amsterdam.

Libra (my friend Alice)
Even your best laid plans could unravel a bit with quicksilver Mercury backing up in your sign. Don't try to avoid a situation just because it seems like deja vu. There is very likely a good reason why you are being asked to get married. Most probably you’ll say yes and you’ll live happily ever after. Sounds like at least one baby!

Scorpio (my mom)
You may be placing too much importance on your constant motherhood. It's not that you should slack off; it's just that there are other things that need to be considered now, too. Don't be afraid to let yourself wander into the most beautiful places of some far-away countries, it just will make you feel better. Try to keep off the hard work in the kitchen and the ironing and arranging stuff around you. This will only tire you more. However, seeing very close relatives and getting close to them will comfort you and give you a shining glow. You’ll surely overwhelm yourself with work, but nothing else would make you feel better, ironically enough!

Sagittarius (me)
Although you may be dreaming of faraway places, you must also pay attention to what's happening right in front of you. Venturing closer to home will likely bring you more pleasure than you can imagine. A conversation with an your closest members of the family may give you just the right advice to remind you that everything you want is in your own backyard. You’re expected to combine work, school and pleasure and you will. Managing will be the toughest this week; you’ll probably suffer from intense tiresome due to drinking and not sleeping enough. Holiday and days off will still not be long enough and the good times will fly quickly. All you’ll have in the end would be pictures, memories, and good times. You’ll be proud of yourself to show a nice part of your country to the loved ones and be able to cook for them. Nothing can stop you from shopping while you share this pleasure with another woman, most probably a close relative. You can even visit a museum on top of this.

Capricorn (grandma)
You may try to sidestep a difficult conversation about your feelings, but letting your fears get in the way of a necessary discussion can be a problem. There's no need to delude yourself. You may be better off shifting your focus from your constantly thinking of your niece to the real world surrounding you.

Aquarius and Pisces have suffered really badly from a bigger coffee stain, we’re sorry for any inconvenience this week might cause as unpredicted reveals itself.

Chillax, man, chillax!

Ce are Amsterdamul in plus fata de Haga in afara de agitatie, viata, lume, events-uri, graba, biciclete, cluburi si canale multe? Pai are relaxare la greu.. oamanii sunt fericiti, relaxati si un fel de impliniti.. este cam cum ma simt eu de vreo luna sau de cand m-am mutat aici.. In fine, sa spunem ca Olanda in general cam transpira relaxare.. dar in Amsterdam, mai a handful, hashea... ma integrez in peisaj, stau pe spate, ma bucur de tot si de toate..

Noroc cu Anja, care ma organizeaza un pic.. pai hai sa n-o mai ardem intr-o lekkereala, sa intreprindem ceva!! Este Uitmarkt – un festival cu muzica si dans si teatru si spectacole peste tot, unde poti sa gushti din fiecare si sa-ti dai cu parerea.. eu imi dau cu parerea ca ar trebui sa mergem, da pana vine ea, pana ne asteptam, pana ne organizam, pana imi vede apartu, pana ne taram pana la ceva mai central, pana atunci trec toate events-urile.. la dracu..

Ajungem noi in graba, nu stim unde mai e ceva, bananaim prin shentru si ii zic ca e ceva gen pe un pod pe langa gara.. Anja zice – bai, Oana, daca n-au facut astia vreun pod nou, pai atunci nu e nici unu cum explici tu.. si vad autobuzu care tre sa ajunga acolo.. ea zice – a, pai de ce n-ai spus ca e la cuca macaii la tzara si nu la Amsterdam.. femeie rusoaica, lasa-te de bancuri, e mai harcana !! pana la urma gasim un concert, un fel de muzica bizara cantata la un fel de instrument tzambalist pus pe o chitara.. numai dubioasa de rusoaica putea sa-si ia cd cu si mai dubioshii aia.. fiecare cu tzacanelile lui, ce sa zici !

Si mai stam si-i ascultam cu ciudateniile lor si pe urma ne urnim inspre un alt concert.. asa credem noi ! ca de fapt la ora 11 nu prea mai au concerte in orash, da noi insistam si ajungem in Concertgebouw.. unde este excellent, tre sa merg mai des la concerte pe acolo.. si bem bere, palavragim ca fetele despre lume si viata, prieteni si taxe, iar timpul zboara.. iar la 12 noaptea mancam inghetata la Australian.. aaah ! cat de lekker !! unde mai poti sa mananci inghetata asa buna la ora aia ?? poate doar in Italia.. si din nou ajung acasa si ma megarelaxezzz

Note

Am capu cat china
Ma kinui sa stau la job
Tre sa ma duc la banca
Tre sa stau pe roshu*
Cat conteaza sa zici niste nume keie
Banca poate sa fie ceva pozitiv
Pana la urma banii conteaza**
Ma plimb prin imprejurimi sa vad unde stau
Stau aproape de orice
Mai mult decat sa ai bani e bine s astai incentru, sa ai pe ce sa-i cheltuiesti**
Ce bine e sa te culci devreme cu bani in buzunar si capu mare, k iti revii ;)


*Rood staan = a sta pe roshu = descoperit de cont, da tot e mai tare sa zici ca esti pe stop..
**Mental note [sa nu mai cheltui banii aiurea]

Si chinezii sunt oameni.

Si chinezii sunt oameni.
Ce am observat pana acum este ca negrii sunt si ei oameni. Adica sunt ca noi. Au pielea ca noi (poate chiar mai fina si mai neparoasa), rad la fel, se intristeaza la fel, cateodata gandesc la fel si miros la fel. Ca de pilda, printre altii, si buna mea prietena, o negresa foarte tare !
Da ce nu stiam pana acum este ca si chinezii sunt oameni.. pai cum frate ?! sunt asa de diferiti, au o cultura, o mentalitate asa de diferita.. totul diferit.. si totusi :

Ea micuta si inocenta, noi niste monstri ;
Ea pura si neprihanita, noi vorbim de dildouri de bagat in fund (aka tarzan) si de freedom of speech ;
Ea nu intelege prea multe, se distreaza de Olanda, branza (kaas) si colegi, noi stim prea multe, ca uneori nici nu vrem sa intelegem mai departe de superficial…
Si totusi ne adunam la o terasa sa o lekkerim. Mai sus era vorba despre micutza chinezoaica, colega mea, care a facut un internship si pana la urma l-a terminat. Deci era momentul sa plece. Femeia asta, impropriu spus -fetitza asta, este o mirare continua.. se chinuie sa pronunte cuvinte si repeta de vreo 5 ori acelasi cuvant – la fel de prost de fiecare data – sau la fel de plost – lol. Stie multe despre lume in general, dar e tot mica, imatura si inocenta, desi e mare (24 de ani)..

Dupa ce vine de la toaleta distrusa, imi povesteste despre un tip care i-a broke her heart. El este chinez. Imi dau seama ca toti barbatii sunt la fel. Pe el il stiu, e genul loverboy, gelat si frezat supercul. Vorbeste grav si mai ales cu femei. O arde la sictir, ca sa moara femeile dupa el.. si de cele mai multe ori reuseste. La sfarsit ii baga textul, de altfel celebru, oricine l-a folosit cel putin odata (eu de mai multe ori) – nu pot sa fiu cu tine, ti-as face rau.. ooo, daaa !!acesta este Textul ! Pai ce sa-ti fac, fata?! Tu esti de vina, trebuia sa-ti dai seama.. lasa ca iti merge karma pozitiva pe urma si te alegi cu unu bun.. in fine, o sa te gandesti mereu la loverboy, ca asa suntem noi, ne indragostim de aia care ne fac mai mult rau, da o sa-ti treaca la un moment dat.. micutza chinezoaica cu sufletul varza vomita in toaleta..

Si pe urma bem. Bem mai cu spor cand vremea e de terasa, nu s probleme, lumea e relaxata, vorbim despre toate cate sunt.. chinezoaica si cu o alta ne canta shlagare chinezesti pe voci cristaline si inalte, ca de portelan. Noi radem in continuare si ni se pare ca vara o sa tina la nesfarsit.. si iar bem, si la terasa e frumos si fun, iar dupa drumul spre casa e greu, cu picanterii de la doamna secretara care le stie pe toate cu marimi si detalii, pizza din gara e mai buna, iar Haga mai departe.. ce bine ca daca adormi in tren nu-ti fura nimeni mobilu si portofelu ! asta numesc eu civilizatie !!

Sobolanu

Vrei sa-ti cumperi o casa, vrei sa inchiriezi. Pe cine pui sa se uite dupa ceva misto? Un agent imobiliar. Dar care? Am vazut anuntul Rooftrack.nl. Are logo un shoricel sau shobolan. Intr-adevar, olandezii au multi soareci sau shobo. De-aia in orice casa gasesti cate-o pisica. De cele mai multe ori ea clar are un scop.

Da cum sa pui shobo sa-ti caute casa?? Sau gandacu de bucatarie sau goanga?! Da poate tocmai de-aia – se plimba mai mult si stiu mai multe case.. da oare la meeting cu agentu canti – I think I smell a rat? Si pe urma – unde este goanga?! De fapt nici nu e amuzant.. poate dak nu-ti place, le dau otrava roz (o poti vedea in orice mall din Bucuresti cand iesi de la film tarziu pe scara de iesire de securitate).

Si pana la urma eu zic nu la shobolanu care sa-mi caute casa.. mai bine imi pun pisica ;) Cilipi, I have a job for you!!

Un Amsterdamer adevarat!

Ce bine e la casa ta, nu te bate nimeni la cap, poti sa vorbesti cu prietenii, poti sa bei sa fumezi sa de toate.. da, numai putin.. cum adica sa vb cu prietenii, ca doar n-or veni toti.. adica prietenii mei.. ei se afla in Romania, in spatiul Schengen si cateodata mai precis in Olanda.. da parca tot mai multi sunt pe mess decat langa mine.. e hai sa incercam sa ne cuplam la net... net, cazzo! Dupa cum zice un prieten.. da-i si suna-l pe ala, vorbeste pe mail de la job, agita-te, cheama frate de Costash.. toate variantele, netu mort.. proprietarul isi trimite prietenul sa ia in mana problema.

Prietenul. Se introduce singur in casa, dupa ce ma avertizeaza ca o sa vina si are kei de rezerva, deci el poate. Are un Mac. Usor zgaltzait, ca el merge peste tot pe bicicleta. Se urca, porneste, viata lui e bicicleta. Prietenii lui sunt oameni care merg in diverse tari si se plimba cu bicicleta. Mananca, isi vede prietenii, rudele pe bicicleta, se duce in club cu bicicleta. Cand se intoarce varza acasa se urca pe bicicleta, poate face orice in timp ce bicicleteaza. (Da, in olandeza se spune a bicicleta si exista foarte multe expresii care implica bicicleta – de exemplu daca vrei sa spui “a facut ceva in felul lui” zici “a facut ceva pe bicicleta lui” – nu va speriati, nu-i asa graznic!). El se filmeaza, se pozeaza, are interviuri si cred ca face si sex pe bicicleta.

Dar in fine, sa revenim la netu mai zgaltzait decat Mac-ul lui. Isi regleaza situatia in Apple si ta-daam!! Apare netu in compu lui...aarrghh!! da ce-are, frate al lui?! AM incercat impreuna, ba el, ba eu, ba deodata sa reparam netu.. no fucking way!! So pana la urma ne-am lasat pagubashi, am discutat de viata cu bicicleta si fara si mi-a aratat cum se desfasoara totul – puteti sa vedeti si voi – Mada, asta este pentru tine: http://amsterdamize.com/

Cand omu e asa entuziasmat trebuie sa fie ceva de capu unei capitale europene unde totusi nu trece peste tine un dobitoc cu mashina lui de shmeker intr-o fitza cu maneaua la maxim si te-njura cand o iei in fata lui.. cand mai mult de jumate din viata lui este acolo, pe tzoacla aia si orashul e al tau.. ei, da, aia senzatie – se vede pe site ;)

Acum ma tot gandesc daca sa-mi iau si eu bicla sau nu.. la dracu!! Ce-am ajuns..

P.S. bine ca stie sa mearga pe bicla, ca netu nu l-a reparat !! in schim mi-a explicat cum ca cu computerul meu pot sa merg la piatza, cu un Mac, pot sa merg pe luna.. si mi-a adaugat ca nu exagereaza cu aceasta comparatie.. asta trebuia sa fie vanzator de biciclete si Mac-uri, ca i-ar fi tinut afacerea, pot sa jur!!

Ally McBill este mic copil…

Nu am crezut niciodata ca o sa vad pe cineva la costum si in papuci, chipurile o arde finance.. pai cum frate sa vii in costum foarte elegant si in papuci? Papuci de-aia care iti lasa tot piciorul gol si au doar o bareta intre degete. Nu, nu.. asa nu!!

Dar ce ma mir eu de papuci, ca prin cladire umbla si alte obiceiuri.. cum ar fi sa iti bagi mana adanc in nas si sa te scarpini.. pe urma mai exista, dintre toate mi se pare cea mai tare – seful meu care isi scoate chilotii din fund in timp ce discuta linistit cu mine despre rapoarte.. foarte finutz de altfel. La fel si secretara – in timp ce discuta cu mine si cu un coleg.. deci sa lasam femeile la o parte, am zice, dar era si un mascul in incapere.. – dumneaei isi trage chilotii din fund, ii intinde in aer si ssplaaashh!! Lycra elasticoasa din ei se s-lipi pe fundul ei! Deci femeia si-a tras chilotii din fund cu zgomot intr-un birou de finance de parca ti-ar fi dat un dosar! Incredibil!! Frate!!

Da asta nu-I nimic pe langa discutiile pe care le avem. De exemplu le povesteam despre jocul cu bile pe care il avem in casa. Ala este un “jeu de boules” traditional si il joaca mai toti francezii. Da Banel de la noi de la job nu a auzit de jocu asta.. deci expica-i cum exita un joc unde tre sa ai iron balls.. normal ca a iesit o panarama. Discutia a fost continuata cu povestiri din sudul Africii unde au jocuri cu boi si cocosi, unde colegul meu avea the best cock. Cum sa te abtii sa nu razi.
Tot la mine in birou, pe langa cei 5 tipi pe invers, unde cel mai draguuutzz e sa iti faci complimente despre culorile camashii sau ce bine arati, fata, mai e si unul casatorit cu un barbat. Am uitat sa mentionez ca am un kinez care a purtat in 2 luni mai mult roz decat mine in toata viatza… si pe nuante de la pal la bonbon la intens, de care io n-as purta nici moarta! In fine, pe mine m-au intrebat cat de lesbi sunt.. asta venind de la un bi. Dupa care am inceput sa vorbim despre cine ce persoana de ce sex a pupat.. e normal, in birou. Cum e si normal sa spui ca am fost obraznic seara trecuta, m-am intalnit cu o fosta si m-am lins cu ea toata noaptea.. intimitatea e mai aproape decat credeam, iar Ally McBill este banala.. daca as scrie eu ce se intampla aici, as a vea mare success.. de fapt, as putea sa incep!!

Ca subiectele apar asa.. deodata.. cum vine un coleg si spune – bai stiti ce am citit intr-un ziar? Ca unu a ramas cu putza intr-o banca.. s-a excitat groaznic, a vrut sa i-o puna la banca (din parc) si s-a intepenit acolo. Pe urma au trebuit sa vina sa-l salveze (nu stiu daca tot descarcerare se numeste!!). Da ce porcarie! Zice el.. pai asa am mai auzit si eu in liceu cum spuneau ca ramane un tip intr-o tipa.. voi credeti?! Nu are cum sa fie adevarat!! Si pe urma au inceput sa povesteasca fiecare ce a mai auzit – cum ca bad a, s-a intamplat la mine in sat. Cum ca se intampla cand ramane cu testiculele in fata. Cum ca au mai auzit ca vrea un baiat sa-i faca o surpriza la o fata si ii pune un trandafir in ea, da de fapt are spini, care sunt intr-o directie si nu mai poate sa-i scoata din ea.. si tot asa. Fiind in tema, am povestit si eu de masturbarea cu becul cald la fete, care poate exploda.. banuiesc ca a auzit toata lumea, da olandezii s-au distrat teribil. Iar povestile pot continua… eu nu, ca mi se face rau.. de la atata distractie..