House Weekend

Saturday

7:37 a.m. – I receive a sms from Anna telling me she’s awake. Must be one of the few persons in the Netherlands!! I try to go back to sleep, but a housewife consciousness takes over and makes me clear awake and in sudden need to clean up everything facing me!

8:00 a.m. – Sure a coffee would be good.. though I’d need to decalcify my coffee machine.. aaaarrgghh! I hate mornings!!

10:00 a.m. – I start cleaning up the kitchen – yey! The absolute statement this morning – everything needs to be brand-new shining.. as I carry on with scrubbing, puffing detergent, cleaning off and other nice verbs I avoided to use so far in my life.. I discover 1. this is going to take ages; 2. This is never going to be brand-new clean. And thát I hate!

10:38 a.m. – I figure it out that the yellow “thing” is not some weird mutant dirt, but real paint that goes off if you clean up the cupboards - a bit - more.. Damn!! They must have never cleaned up – the paint still stays on everywhere!! Aarrgghh!!

11:20 a.m. – Have you ever seen The Adams Family?! Tara-nah nah, ching ching! Tara-nah-nah! Well, the previous inhabitants of my house must have loved it! There were spider webs everywhere.. I guess it took them several months to grow them, but they finally succeeded – what a satisfaction! Well, I took up the horror task of bringing them down – I’m such an exorcist!!

11:25 a.m. – enough fun for me – I go back to scrubbing the kitchen! I’m so good with beauty treatments!

12:14 p.m. – One moore tiimmee! I hear my music – and I go – One moore tiiimee…

12:45 p.m. – I hurry up to the AH for super-fast shopping – I only pay for half, must be weekend discount

1:00 p.m. – I meet the building sort of administrator who gives me precious advice on how to sue the sellers for hidden damage of the house.. do I really need that?!

2:01 p.m. – Anna says she’s going to help me get an armchair, she’d be coming with an Ukrainian guy to look at the bedroom, maybe he can get it fixed.. I sure cannot! She says she’ll run a bit late..

2:30 p.m. – nice to have fun in the kitchen, now some fun with moving stuff to the attic.

2:45 p.m. – I’m thinking – is Anna still coming with the guys?! Am I going to be late again? I’m supposed to have my most expected moment of the month – appointment at the beauty saloon – so long ago that I could relax!

2:46 p.m. – As I have nothing else better to do, I check out the photo’s on my camera – all those memories.. make me dream awaaayy.. ah! I need some action!

3:00 p.m. – I realize the house is not clean enough, so I start rearranging stuff.. as if that made it better..

3:10 p.m. – The Russian speakers arrive.. I only get “material”, “davai” and I can say “spasiva”. So the Ukrainian guy asks me how come I haven’t studied Russian in school.. well I guess I was busy with French – excuse my French! We’re driving far off to the Villa ArenA on Chemical Bro rhythms and chatting in English, Dutch and Russian altogether..

3:45 p.m. – Lucky me I’m with strong men helping me!! I just need to smile and go on..

6:15 p.m. – Yvonne, the beauty treatment guru, breaks the news that I didn’t eat proper meals lately.. I was busy! She doesn’t accept it as an excuse, I need to work on it.. damn!! AND! I need to relax, don’t stress, hey, at least don’t do anything tonight! Just relax!! OK ok..

7:15 p.m. – I arrive home in a state of total relaxation. Man, I love beauty treatments!

8:15 p.m. – I’m shocked! I just got a letter saying if I buy a spot now to be buried, coffin etc., I get a discount! From Eur 4,500 to Eur 3,800 – just round about… Are people cheap when they’re having burials too?! Is buying your death a mean to say I lived rich or I lived poor?! Do you get a place in front? What do I need to pay to sit next to God? Can I buy some wings to fly around in Heaven or some good drinks and chicks to party in Hell?!

8:30 p.m. – I find some old magazine (Off the Record, no. 5, 2008) and read an article about Blof. What happened after Umoja!! How they were singing about the death of a dog and some neighbour came in while they were playing telling her dog just died. So this doesn’t only happen to me!! – Continuity, I mean! (it’s a principle, check it out – and my philosophical @ss ;) ) I don’t even have a dog!

9:10 p.m. – I read: “la scoperta della sessualità, la ricerca di un’identità, il paradossale desiderio di individualismo e il contempo, di appartenenza al gruppo, l’incomunicabilità, le passioni inconfessate, le aspirazioni rivendicate, i riti, le mode. Quella strana energia” – it’s all about teenagers, how they get to discover themselves.. every now and then I’m still going back to those questions. Does that mean I’m still a teenager?!

9:27 p.m. – Despite Yvonne’s recommendations, I start reading some Financial accounting lovely book :P

Sunday

11: 25 a.m. – I discover the entrance door to my apartment is a bit open. Any cat would fit through it. Have I slept with the door open? For how long has it been open really?! Well, at least I feel very safe now. If a burglar, raper or killer was refusing such an invitation, this must be a safe neighbourhood! Look, mom, I’m ok! :)

2:33 p.m. – As a good neighbour, you’re supposed to clean up the stairs that lead to your apartment. I bet you lazy asses don’t do that. There are always cleaners for that. Well, in my building each does a stair case. So I let them see no dust, but super-housewife power!!

2:49 p.m. – As my computer is wasted, I’ll need to reinstall Windows. I start doing so at the same time with my warm-up exercises.

5:10 p.m. – Let it run, let it run.. computer check – installation failed, ok, once more! I’ll take a hair dying and a shower in the meanwhile..

5:30 p.m. – I finish up dying my hair.. the bloody computer is still running his stupid installations..

5:55 p.m. – I blow my hair dry, trying not to get angry about my computer.

11:30 p.m. – Imi bag p*_%*^$#@ in el de computer – I hear myself swearing in Romanian. Now where did that come from?! I give it up, I’m going to sleep!!